wherein they're all obsessed with networking sites that only produce chaos and a lot of unhealthy feels.
luhan likes to reblog mainly about soccer; his blog is boring and plain, his theme disgusting according to a specific tumblr user called "baozi" that sends him hate mails every day for that one time he called out that baozis are adorable and very delicious, offending the short korean over the internet and starting a "fanwar" between followers.
"it's not that i dedicated the post to him. i like baozis, thank you very much, and you're just ruining my obsession with it," he posts one day after all the disgusting comments baozi's followers sent him on every soccer post he did. "just kidding," he adds at the end of the post, but of course, nobody believes him.
to be honest, luhan's blog is one you will never follow unless you're a soccer fan, but the random selcas ("i coined that term," baozi seethes one post after another) he posts over his own page is enough to garner him thousands of followers that are willing to reblog his face forever.
AO;IWERAPO;SJDASD MARRY ME PLEASE, anonymous asks one day, and luhan simply replies a short message with a thank you and a small heart next to it.
he receives tons of sad faces afterwards, not knowing who the first actual anonymous ask is from.
"oh well," luhan sighs after he shuts his laptop down, shrugging his shoulders before going to his living room to watch his favorite soccer game.
he still didn't get the ask he wanted.
tao looks at the screen with an eyebrow raised, clicking on the email after he gets the notification on his cellphone. minutes after the said message, he's in front of his mac book, legs sprawled on the bed.
it's not every day that someone follows tao's blog. his posts consist mainly of pandas, how they live and pictures of eating pandas and their cuddly furs around each others.
he has some followers actually; he's proud to say he has about 47 of them (he checks it every day just to make sure everyone else loves pandas, oh, and never forgets to send them an ask and thank them).
the forty eighth's name is mysteriousman and tao groans, thinking this is one of those blogs full of porn but he checks it anyway before deciding if he's going to block it.
mysterious man | chinese | canada | china | freelance model is what the description box says and he stares awestruck at the sidebar image that has the side-profile of the said man.
he doesn't care if the blog is not panda-related and clicks follow immediately. he curses himself mentally as he breaks his vow of never following "stupid quality blogs" that only gets followers because of mainstream posts a few seconds after.
"hi, thank you for following me! i'm glad you like pandas," is what he leaves in the ask box, preparing a speech about how precious pandas are before the boy replies.
no, i saw your about me and thought you can be a model.
does it include a panda suit, tao types back.
tao slaps himself physically that night, mumbling apologies to his panda plushies as he gawks at the mysterious man's number on his phone and spends the rest of his evening browsing the guy's blog posts of himself.
life is good.
but unlike luhan, he doesn't believe he's good looking at all and he's still not used to all the fame and love he's getting over the internet. really, he's not used to it. he lives as a normal boy in school and nobody really notices him behind those geeky, nerdy glasses and his boring outfits.
sehun has a secret nobody knows though - he's in love with the blogger named luhan. well it used to be, at least, a secret people knew of if only they follow his twitter which has over hundreds of people following. he guesses it's not a secret anymore but he still thinks it is by the way luhan never followed his blog despite him liking every single posts of his.
yeah, even that one post about how much he likes deer despite them creeping on people's backyards sometimes.
he tweets mostly about how much he hates soccer and yet reblogs it just because "luhannie likes it" and a series of similar "omg guys have you seen his new picture he's a sex god" after on his twitter account. the hundreds of followers on his twitter don't help at all with the screen captures posted on tumblr.
at times like these, he thanks god that luhan only follows soccer related blogs.
jongdae comments the word creep in capitalized letters, blocks his facebook and deletes all their common friends in a span of five minutes.
damn those fast fingers, minseok mentally curses himself when he finds no connection anymore to the said boy.
a few moments later, he posts on his tumblr with the username baozi this: "how rude of you to unfriend me", and gets hundreds of asks comforting him. he smiles again as he basks in the attention.
oh the smell of popularity.
sehun gawks at the dashboard of his tumblr, his eyes swerving as he mentally chants profanities against his computer screen.
he doesn't care if the post is about "reblog if you are beautiful" and how narcissistic it was in the circumstance, but he screams later in his room and does a few somersaults in his bed in pure glee.
five minutes later, he posts a text on his tumblr account with a gif of a deer chewing on leaves because that's luhan's favorite animal and he just needs luhan in his blog, goddamn it.
one, two, three, four, five - he starts counting and he's impatient and all until he counts to a hundred and luhan reblogs his post again, adding a comment of "omg this is so adorable can i have you in my backyard please".
a whole lot of shipping from the fans (followers) ensues after sehun tweets with tons of screen captures of the same post and how much he loves deer and wants to go marry one right now.
sehun thinks he dies for the nth time of the day after lu fucking han finally clicks the follow button.
as of late, his obsession with the infamous dancer on youtube is getting out of hand and he hates how friendless he is on social networking sites (his followers are too weird to talk to sometimes because they only really talk about kyungsoo's voice) that he can't really have people to talk to about kai (or his real name jongin), the sexiest man alive in kyungsoo's dictionary.
jongdae likes his post after a few minutes and reblogs it to his own set of followers before the video goes viral for the next few hours on tumblr with beliebers commenting how awesome his voice is despite his accentuated english.
kyungsoo wants to run to his best friend's house or maybe chanyeol's to hide in embarrassment as his video singing "boyfriend" by justin bieber spreads out like wildfire.
"fans can be creeps sometimes," yixing, his real life best friend says. "they found my facebook through jongin's thousands of friends after we hung out in seoul."
wu fan only chuckles at him, because in reality he doesn't really know what name to use either. damn his family backgrounds and a whole lot of migrating.
anyway, everybody probably remembers that one time a follower asked for his real name, bribing him with a lot of dollars but he only replied emotionless.
maybe next time.
soon enough, it became a mantra for his followers.
how did people find my twitter account? he tweets again, eyes scanning through the unfamiliar website and opens google for more tutorials on another tab. he groans in desperation as he fumbles with unfamiliar english words, forgetting to switch it to the available korean version.
i can't seem to change my language to korean guys someone help me :(
@prettybaekhyun @leadermyun noob. go back to facebook gramps.
"holy shit, that was amazing," he mutters as he stares more, ready to dance to the beat of justin bieber's song even though he hated the said canadian so much. the first time he met wu fan in real life and snorted about him being canadian got him in so much trouble already so he decided to keep his hatred down low. generalization is not the key to everything.
he laughs almost hysterically as excitement flings itself over his emotions, ignoring the weird stares he's getting in the coffee shop and the loud shrieking he did while watching the video.
never in jongin's life did he ever sound like a dying cat just because of a video.
he guesses everyone has their first times anyway and replies to the link in his message box, searching do kyungsoo after everything else. once he finds the exact tumblr and realizes all the feels and love this guy had for him, he doesn't even hesitate to leave a message along with his number.
"meet me in seoul tonight. here's my number...so call me maybe."
lots of girls like him for his videos, but his alluring face is also one to blame for the amount of crushes people have on him, especially that one video of him putting eyeliner on that has been gifed around a hundred times with different coloring and templates by his number one fanboy on tumblr.
sometimes he gets creep-ed out by the fanboy who calls himself chanyeol. chanyeol makes sure to leave enough messages on youtube that gets thousands of thumbs up, calling him beautiful or whatsoever and he remembers that one time chanyeol made a video of himself reciting a poem about him on the video responses.
he doesn't deny the fact that chanyeol was good looking though. damn, he had a sexy voice and the boy had hots for him.
too bad he's still a creep whenever he favorites almost every tweet baekhyun makes.
kyungsoo replies on his twitter post, asking who with a link of his infamous o_o gif.
"i think you know who i ship together now :3 hah!" jongdae replies.
"don't tell me you told everyone..."
"OMG I SHIP YOU WITH JONGIN OKAY JUST GO AND HAVE FUN ON YOUR DATE WHILE I MAKE HUNDREDS OF FICS ABOUT YOU TWO OKAY BRB WRITING I CAN'T CONTAIN MY FEELS ANYMORE."
kyungsoo slaps himself in the head and mentally makes a note not to tell the whole world about confessing ever again.
oh well, at least it went viral and jongin saw it, right?
@leadermyun i just want to barf rainbows and throw love at people omg can we all get along and just let me run and hug all of you
@prettybaekhyun @leadermyun stop it gramps you can't even run with your arthritis
@no1baekfanboy AHAHAHAH!!! RT @prettybaekhyun @leadermyun stop it gramps you can't even run with your arthritis
@prettybaekhyun @no1baekfanboy oh my god stop favoriting everything i say you creep
@no1baekfanboy @prettybaekhyun i still love you ;_;
"is this the consequences of fame? of love? of writing the music i want?" he updates next and long enough he posts dramatic lyrics about fame for a new song that will probably hit youtube the next day.
he sighs as he holds his guitar on his lap, the sound of emails and responses' beeps echoing around his tiny apartment. he slides down his couch and plays a new tune.
"the consequences of being too talented," he says and wipes imaginary tears and sweats on his face and wu fan rolls his eyes at him, a video recorder in hand for his narcissistic best friend's new youtube video.
"i love you all for making me write beautiful music," he says before blowing a dramatic kiss towards wu fan's direction.
"dear god, stop it. you look like a drama queen."
"can't help it; i'm too beautiful for the screen."
he writes and writes about poems and fiction about him and baekhyun, cheeks flaming as he touches the topic of "interactions" and turns almost blue instead of red with "intercourse". he asks his neighbor friend jongdae to write them instead, the boy complaining about how he doesn't want to write about boys getting it on. he writes it anyway though, with chanyeol promising him that he will shop a new figurine of ron and hermione for christmas.
"baekhyun is a god," he whispers as he types and puts an emoticon of something that looked like a person flipping a table. "too bad for you people cause he's all mine, bitches."
tao ignores the nasty comment and only stares at him in admiration, his eyes twinkly and dreamy as he gazes at wu fan's face and height. "i still don't know your name though."
"wu fan," he extends his arm, "but if you tell anybody, i will kill you."
tao raises his hands up in submission. "i do wushu though, you might have a hard time."
wu fan's eyes widen in disbelief, a hint of mischievousness forming after that. "does that mean you're up for a topless photoshoot?" he says and smirks, trying to tease tao but instead gets a surprising retort.
"well, i solemnly swear i am up to no good."
"fuck it," he whispers, "he gets the same messages anyway he will only scroll past this."
he's typing halfway on luhan's ask when he realizes tumblr has limits on them. he punches himself in his vivid mind and drops his head onto his keyboard. he decides to just leave a short "i love you okay and you will never notice me" and waits for dooms day to come.
luhan replies shortly in sehun's ask with a lot of keysmashing and emoticons.
"THOUGHT YOU'D NEVER ASK."
he didn't know luhan had known about his crazy obsessions all along, them being dubbed as hunhan and how luhan tracks their own tag shamelessly. he never actually dared to follow sehun because, well, his blog is not soccer based and he posts the cheesiest quotes ever. the deer incidence was actually just the needed excuse for them to actually talk to each other.
"i can just cry i love you to death i have posters of you in my room."
when the door opens with jongin clad in just his sweater and unstyled hair, kyungsoo almost yells at the waitress for blocking his view but realizes this is the one time he's not stalking jongin in real life, but instead he's meeting him on a date. or that's what he prefers to call their "meet up".
"hey," jongin beams a smile at him and kyungsoo thinks he's going to die because those lips are luscious and-
"hi," he exclaims shyly, his eyes going as wide as saucers and blinking rapidly. "oh my god, i can't believe i'm meeting you," is what he blurts in the next second, and furthermore proceeds to embarrass himself. "and you're saying hey to me."
jongin laughs at him but he ignores it with effort to control the dying screams in his throat and how much he wants to brush away the hair that just fell on jongin's forehead. when jongin extends his arm for a handshake, he grasps it tightly with dreamy eyes and holds onto it. "i love you," he stupidly says and jongin laughs even more but he doesn't care. the perfection in front of him is enough to make his heart leap out and his brains to stop working.
"i think we'll get along well in real life," jongin says with a blush creeping on his cheeks. "i can't deny that i'm infatuated with your voice," he shrugs and tries to act cool once again.
kyungsoo wants to punch the glass window beside him because of his overflowing happiness.
"hey, i'm talking," he snaps, poking his cheek as he spies on his phone.
joonmyeon only laughs at him as he hides his phone back and something he suddenly saw scares the crap out of baekhyun.
if only he didn't see the familiar twitter name in joonmyeon's phone would he still be calm right now. "did you just tweet to park chanyeol where we are," he gasps, hand flying towards his mouth in an exaggerated motion. "don't tell me you did."
joonmyeon snorts at him with a snide smile and continues to sip his mocha latte. that's the time baekhyun feels like curling down the couch and dying to avoid future disasters.
he didn't even have to wait for five minutes before a familiar face pops inside the cafe, hair straightened and the boy donning a dress shirt. baekhyun wants to die of shame as the boy waves his hand up in the air and almost runs to them, people staring at the tall lanky figure almost exclaiming in glee.
"oh god, it really is you," chanyeol says with an infecting grin. instead of being annoyed and bitchy though, baekhyun's stomach feels like it's been surrounding by butterflies that he reads in sehun's posts. "i can't believe i'm meeting you. i'm just working down the street and oh my god, i don't look presentable but, hi," chanyeol stutters all the words out, a grin still intact and baekhyun wonders how he can have such perfect teeth and cute adorable ears and that sexy husky voice-
"you're in love with me, right?" he says, incredulously laughing at how crazy he sounds. "i think i can deal with that."
he posts five minutes later on his twitter account with a huge amount of emoticons and gifs describing his feelings.
"ALL MY OTP SHIPS ARE SAILING GUYS. FUCK MY LIFE AND BEING SINGLE."
minseok favorited your tweet.
"hi, i found you. thanks for blocking me."
obviously this is meant to be crack?? please don't take anything seriously.